JJ Abrams: The True Galactic Emperor

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JJ Abrams

Chewbacca photo courtesy of Shutterstock

There has been a great disturbance in the Force as of late. Disney’s acquisition of the Star Wars franchise has sent shockwaves through the fan base as well as through all of popular culture. There have been mixed feelings about how the new owners will treat the universe. With the news of JJ Abrams directing the newest installment of the series, here are some things to look for (or forward to) in the upcoming seventh episode of Star Wars.

 

I’ll say first that JJ Abrams is obviously a good enough sci-fi director and writer due to the success of his shows Lost and Fringe. He also had success with rebooting the Star Trek franchise (more on that one further down in the article). It seems though, that he is bent on making sure people know he is our generation’s master of sci-fi. He and Joss Whedon are probably currently locked in a Highlander battle as we speak over this title.

 

Here are some things to expect may happen with Abrams’ influence on the new episode.

 

1.   Lens Flare!

 

 JJ Abrams was harangued by critics and Trekkies alike for this when he released the newest Star Trek movie. In an effort to make the future look more like the future in an updated franchise, apparently Abrams talked to his buddy Steve Jobs and took a page from the Apple Store design draft. Everything was so shiny and bright, even the enemy ship looked as if there should have been 30 employees shuffling aimlessly about the deck, iPads in hand. Also because it’s science fiction, the realism of light had to be respected, so every sweep of the camera resulted in an eclipsing lens flare.

 

Expect the flare from every light saber battle and blaster fight to drown out all other action on the screen.

 

 2.   Luke Sky-Rascal

 

 If the past is evidence of a possible future, expect to see the return of a character that is 30 years older. In Star Trek, Leonard Nimoy reprised his role as “older Spock”, who traveled through time to justify the many holes that Abrams was stabbing into the Star Trek canon. Mark Hammill has actually enjoyed a decent career outside of being Luke Skywalker, but he has gained some age since Return of the Jedi naturally. I predict a time traveling Luke, because George Lucas won’t be there to screw it up.

 

 3.   …as if a Million Nerds Cried Out at Once and Were Suddenly Silenced

 

 Since JJ Abrams is doing the Star Trek movies and now Star Wars, can we just give him a black cloak and lightning fingertips? I can totally see him torturing fan boys and girls with a crossover in Episode VII where Captain Kirk and Han Solo team up to take on the empire and they will still somehow both lose their shirts in the process.

 

With one director doing two opposing franchises, there’s no way he shouldn’t take the opportunity to make people’s heads explode with confusion, if not just have a quick meltdown.

 

My money is on Darth Spock.

 

 Summary

 

In the end, Disney probably did pick the best guy for the job. George Lucas had beaten his dead horse a bit much, and it had started to show in the newest of the trilogies. Disney and Lucas agree that the future of Star Wars is better off in a younger director’s hands. I’m excited to see what comes of this decision.

 

I have one more message for JJ Abrams though….

 

If you strike Lucas down, he will return more powerful than you can imagine. Go ahead. Do it and your training will be complete!!

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